Are you complaining about others or about yourself?
Are you making excuses for what happens (or does not happen) to you?
The problem is that you won’t be successful, you won’t feel fulfilled and happy if you don’t stop.
Why is that?
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Why are you complaining?
First, you need to understand why is it that you complain.
From there, you will be able to change that more easily.
Complaining is easier
Let’s face it, complaining is easier than looking to what might need some work, some change.
For example, one of your colleagues just got promoted. And you start to complain, to blame others.
Well, it is much easier than doing the work that could have made you promoted. Easier to complain, judge, or blame than to take action.
Complaining is good for your ego
There another reason in my opinion. Complaining is good for your ego. Your ego wants you to appear perfect, competent, to be right.
When you complain, you set the fault, the responsibility on others, not on you. You don’t have to change. You don’t need to see reality and make efforts to improve.
Thus, your ego is reinforced and you will continue to complain to keep it like that.
So what is wrong?
The problem is that you won’t be able to grow, to get any success if you keep this mindset.
Successful people never complain, they take responsibility for their lives and take action.
You can be like that as well.
If you complain about others it means that you believe that you don’t have any control over your life.
You are like a slave of others and your environment.
If you complain about yourself, it means that you think you can’t change, you can’t improve.
But you can. You have this possibility.
When something wrong happens, you can find a way to make it better, at least slightly. This is your responsibility.
Taking responsibility for your life doesn’t mean you are guilty of what people might do to you.
It means that you have the choice of how you respond to the situation, whatever it is.
Let’s take an example here.
Imagine (I hope for you that it is not the case) that you are in a relationship and your partner disrespects you. Or even worse he/she abuses you.
You are not guilty of what your partner is doing, how he/she reacts. But you are responsible for what you do about this situation. You are the one responsible for your choice or your absence of choice (which is also a choice in the end).
You see, at any moment of your life, you have the freedom of making choices. You are responsible for your life. Nobody else.
You will say that you may not have a choice. I agree that your possibilities might be limited or very limited at times. But you can always choose to take action. Even a very small action. Even just choosing the way you think about the situation. You can always choose how to perceive an event and how you want to live it mentally.
Responsibility = choice of how to respond to a situation.
Don’t see yourself as a victim. See yourself as the actor of your life. Not the spectator.
As soon as you understand that you are making choices at any moment of your life, you will realize that you can change.
You have the power to improve your life.
You can actually do something to be happier.
Nobody will save you
Another thing you may do, even not entirely consciously. You are waiting for something or someone to change the situation for you.
But nobody will come. Nobody.
You are the only one responsible for your life. You are not a child anymore.
You have to grow up and take control.
Nah, it is freeing.
It will help you cultivate the most essential and valuable thing you have in life after health: freedom.
Can you do something about it now?
When you are unhappy with something, you have 2 choices.
– you accept it as a part of a whole thing that you want. It might be something you don’t like much, but you can deal with it.
No situation is perfect, there will always be something that you don’t like. But if you can do with it, fine. Accept it.
But don’t complain. Otherwise, it means that you don’t really accept it.
– you don’t accept it and you have to do something about it.
Again, I don’t say that taking action is easy, you will have to make sacrifices. Maybe big ones. But the more you stay in this bad situation, the more difficult it will be to do something, the higher the sacrifice.
Don’t rush and do something stupid. Take time to weigh the different aspects. Analyze the consequences.
Then do something.
I know that it is not easy.
You will have to make difficult choices maybe. Sacrifices even.
It is the price to pay to be free and live your own life. Not the life that someone wishes you live.
You only have one life, don’t waste it.
Even if you don’t make a change right now, I want you to do something.
At the very least, start being conscious that you are making choices every second of your life, for everything.
Where you live, with whom, what you do.
Stop complaining or making excuses now and take responsibility for your life.
You will start your life for good. And find that you can be happy.
My question for you: what is that most common situation where you tend to complain or make excuses? Share it in the comments below and let’s start the discussion!